So I Was Talking To Dave The Other Day

And Dave is all like, "I hate the Internet. The Internet sucks!"

So, I'm like... "Dude. You're chatting with me on the Internet... right now."

And then Dave goes, "Technically I'm offline. I'm only pretending to be your friend Dave."

Then he says (and I'm paraphrasing a bit here), "I'm really a sentient computer virus. I traveled to your PC via 3.5 inch floppy disk and I've been feeding off of your page file for the past three weeks."

Then there's this long pause where no one types anything followed by, "I travel aimlessly from machine to machine in hopes that someday... someone... will love me."

And then Dave comes online (the real Dave), so I'm a bit creeped out. Anyway, long story short, this is like the fourth time I've had to format my hard drive this month.